I haven’t written much at all this past month. It’s not that I don’t have a lot of thoughts and feelings and even some small revelations swirling around inside me. It’s time. It’s time and energy.
It’s also the fact that I don’t really pay attention to the things that I hear these days like I used to.
I miss that.
I miss God. Me and God lately, well, I fear He has been buried beneath a bunch of worry, a bunch of “what am I going to do to help us get through this month” self-sufficient thoughts and lethargy due to discouragement.
Yet, I have finally done a little step that God led me to do that I was putting off for months. That feels good, but I miss my close friendship with Jesus. The listening, the revelations, the seeking with a hearty hunger that made me feel alive.
I have been under a lot of guilt too.
Where did all this crap come from and when did the horizon that I’m looking toward get so dull and vague?
Dang I sound a bit depressed! But I’m not. I’m just honest. Truly being honest. I can’t write a lovely blog post today. I’ve gotten really pumped up when I’ve written a few articles for another site recently, but then…. but then it sort of ebbs away and I’m right back in the 9-5 numbness.
Any suggestions that won’t make me want to scream?? What kind of self-pity have I gotten into lately??