getting honest

Honesty is such a brutal thing with me and God.

I fight it. I ignore the need. I get angry and into my self. I lash out at others. I get weary and then I get real.

I acknowledge and usually feel pain… for different things, for those I’ve wounded. Today I saw his wounds and it was not something I wanted to see and know that I had been a part of.

After that, I let go. The tears flow. The sobs come. The Presence grows. The Reality becomes a wave over me. The Grace saves me.

My Friend knows me. He knows me beyond my name and my face. The troubles lift. The healing begins to flow to me, from me. I am forgiven and feel clean.

I go to the one I wounded and he hears and receives my confession in the dark where he was sleeping.

I can’t truthfully say that it’s a lightheartedness I feel right now. It’s more like a weary peace.

Jesus, you love me and I’ve seen you face to face, and so I follow you and love you in return. Thank you so much for sorting through all of the wasted days and places in me. I need your view. I need to see life in and around me the way you want me to see them. Even in my own house.

Peace sits here with me tonight. I am free because you bring honesty and love.

Thank you. I’m so glad there’s never an ending to our story. Bring what you have to me and my family!!

I live in the shelter of the Most High and I will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. He alone is my refuge, my place of safety. He is my God and I trust Him. He will rescue me and my family from every trap and protect us from deadly disease. He will cover us with His feathers. He will shelter us with His wings. His faithful promises are our armor and protection. We are not to be afraid of the terrors of the night or of the arrows that fly in the day. We are not to dread the disease that stalks in darkness or the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at our side, though ten thousand are dying around us these evils will not touch us. We just open our eyes and see how the wicked are punished.

If we make the Lord our refuge, if we make the Most High our shelter, no evil will conquer us; no plague will come near our home. For He will order his angels to protect us wherever we go. They will hold us up with their hands so we won’t even hurt our feet on a stone. We will trample on lions and cobras; we will crush fierce lions and cobras under our feet!

The Lord says, ‘I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.’

Psalm 91

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