not knowing myself

One problem is, I don’t know myself.  I hide a lot of myself, a lot of the deep things.  Sometimes because it’s because I don’t want to waste the deep on those who are so immersed in the shallow that they don’t want the deep.  A lot of the time it is because I feel like I need to protect myself.  Most times, it’s because I’m embarrassed of myself… of the depths I have, the thoughts I have, the feelings I have.  You would think I was weird or dramatic or too thoughtful or complicated if I shared them all.

Another problem is, why do I care so much about what you think?  Well, one easy answer there is because everyone wants to be liked and approved of.

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