The theme that I am noticing all around me again and again lately is the message I found on postsecret.com: My greatest desire is to love my life as I’m living it. It crossed my path again tonight when I watched the foreign film As It is In Heaven. Watch it, that’s my strong suggestion.
It brought about the kind of clarity of the beauty of life that I believe and know is there, sometimes I experience it. Sometimes I ache for it. When I am experiencing it everything around me is beautiful, not because I am seeing things through rose colored glasses, but I suspect it’s because for those moments I am stripped of the urge and the need to protect myself with or inflict some kind of sting on someone else with sarcasm. I am aware that God is in everything and I see his hand in all creation… in my son and even bubbles! Tonight I went to wash Eli’s bottles before going to bed and the dish soap made all these tiny little gorgeous bubbles and instead of going on and washing the bottle, I stopped and watched the bubbles. There was light reflecting on them and the way they moved in the fan’s draft was like a dance. I feel a bit exposed (if naked is “a bit” exposed) revealing my private little experiences and thoughts like this, but tonight, that’s okay. I am not sure what God is leading me to through all of these moments where I am made aware of the fact that I want to enjoy life while I’m living it, but I’m glad He’s here and leading me somewhere in it. It’s beautiful.