jesus, john and judas

A few things swirling around in my head today as I try to listen and consider what is inside of me to write.

I am thinking about the last supper.  John reclining on Jesus – a really odd picture, to be honest. Odd, but I wish it were me.  I wish I knew Him well enough here and now to do that. It always seems quite difficult for me to spend time with Him in this way… I feel silly, yet I am so up for feeling silly, even if it’s just in front of God.  I will experiment with laying my head on Jesus’ chest and being with him and I’ll let you know how that goes.

Also, in The Message it says, “Jesus knew that the Father had put him in complete charge of everything, that he came from God and was on his way back to God.” After that he went on to wash the disciples feet and reveal Judas as his betrayer. He knew it all!  That is just awesome to me. What a confidence that must bring to someone to know that truth.  I want to know too.  Is it possible? I hope so.

I wonder if Judas, sitting there at that supper, wanted to lay his head on Jesus’ chest too?  It makes my heart hurt for him.  I have always thought that Judas got a bad deal.  God’s plan, but it doesn’t seem fair, especially when I am not a fan of thinking of it in the “predestination” line of thought.  It was prophesied that he would betray Jesus, and in John 13 Jesus said he wasn’t including all of them in what he was saying about washing one another’s feet and holiness so as not to interfere with scripture.

I know it upset Jesus that Judas was betraying him (the scripture says so). And we know that Judas was upset for betraying Jesus because he hanged himself in the end.  I hope that he got to rest his head on Jesus in heaven. After all, grace covered him too, I think.

There you go then… some of my thoughts today.

2 thoughts on “jesus, john and judas

  1. Wow, Shan. My heart has always hurt for Judas too! God is gracious to have created us to be his friends and not his enemies. I would love to discuss this more with you. It was wonderful to hear your voice on the line last night. I’m ever so glad that Mama Bex enjoyed her St. Michaels FB photo album. Please tell to her that I’ll upload more images (esp. her old house & schools) ASAP. Love you! Miss you! I am proud of who you are – how you press into it all with such courage!

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